Wearing Dark Sunglasses While I'm Typing

How is everyone doing? I just had baked trout (2 of them) courtesy of my housemate, Hass. "It's labor day weekend, Saturday night, and we're hanging out at home... we must be the coolest guys in school..." said a sarcastic Hass. Hahah. I didn't think it was that bad though. Playing the Legend of Zelda on Nintendo, having some home-cooked food with the guys, playing some guitar, watching DVDs (i saw Man on Fire today) and updating my Tabulas... A very nice way of spending a Saturday night, IMHO. Gosh... i think my personality has mellowed down a lot. Does age and time and just in general, growing old do that to you? I wonder. Why are all old people so solemn and "silent" and wise? Okay, maybe its just the muscle atrophy preventing them from moving fast and talking. So many things have been happening lately. Hurricane Katrina. Me quitting Campus Activities Board. The Central football team beating Lincoln 86-nothing. At a football game. AMERICAN football. (gasp!)Me being an intern at BSU. Me leading a band in music ministry(pretty exciting!). Me trying to get guys involved in my lifegroup/bible study. Getting new friends. Finished reading Phil Yancey's "Where's God when it hurts?"... Me getting 'rejected.' =p Hahah! i'm joking.

Contemplations

Read an article the other day in the very very nifty Relevant Magazine. (www.relevantmagazine.com) It was about God breathed Culture...or something like that. Ever wonder why God made colors? Why made men and women of so many different kinds? Why are the patterns on the wings of the butterfly so unique? Why create different types of flowers? Why so much diversity?? Is there any specific purpose to it? "God is creative, artfully alive, a lover of beauty. He did not create a world merely so it could function..."-Winn Collier

Slurping in the Experience of Life

Sweet and sour. Painful and pleasant. Some philosopher called the world a soul-making machine. We are pilgrims. We are explorers. We are made in the image of the creative Creator God. The Lover of beauty and the Beauty of love.

 "We were to learn, to enjoy, to taste, to experience. We were to make musicand paint murals and pass along legends..."- Winn Collier

Some things to pray about

family. mi n di. fu. lifegroup. that i am prepared. humility. that i may be teachable. enthusiasm. that i may be infectious. church. that it'll turn the world downside up.

   i can't lead worship if i'm not a worshiper.

The thought popped into my head as I was taking a shower. Warm showers are some of the best de-stressers of all time. I just got back from a band practice at the BSU. I was stressed because it was less than satisfactory. But I'm not saying we played badly either. the music was quite okay for a bunch of people playing the first time together. =P Just a little messy, that's all. Maybe I'm worrying too much. Maybe i'm the problem. Am i having too too high an expectation? Am i concentrating on the wrong thing? Oh man.

I'm sorry if i didn't use the right words to build them up, Lord. I hope they forgive me if I wasnt being tactful enough. They are a wonderful and talented band, and i thank you for answering my prayer. You really DID send the gifts and available people we needed this semester. I pray that all of us as individuals and as people serving in the music ministry will come to you, depend on you, live a lifestyle worthy of Your name. Give them each a new song each day, that they may be joyful in their hearts, content in everything You have given them. grow their gifts and abilities to create music, jam in a band, lead your people by the Spirit. I pray the same things for myself also. Give me patience to wait for you to do your work. You are able. I believe. In Jesus's awesome name.

Mr Radio DeeJay, i dedicate this to all who are hurting out there.

What day is it? And in what month?
This clock never seemed so alive
I can't keep up and I can't back down
I've been losing so much time

Cause it's you and me and all of the people with nothing to do
Nothing to lose
And it's you and me and all of the people
And I don't know why, I can't keep my eyes off of you

All of the things that I want to say just aren't coming out right
I'm tripping on words
You've got my head spinning
I don't know where to go from here

Cause it's you and me and all of the people with nothing to do
Nothing to prove
And it's you and me and all of the people
And I don't know why, I can't keep my eyes off of you

There's something about you now
I can't quite figure out
Everything she does is beautiful
Everything she does is right

Cause it's you and me and all of the people with nothing to do
Nothing to lose
And it's you and me and all of the people
And I don't know why, I can't keep my eyes off of you
and me and all of the people with nothing to do
Nothing to prove
And it's you and me and all of the people
And I don't know why, I can't keep my eyes off of you

What day is it?
And in what month?
This clock never seemed so alive

---Lifehouse "You and me"

A Big YOU. And a small me. Let's turn our eyes towards the heavens. Look towards the hills. Lift up your heads. Anticipate the coming of Jesus. 

So Now I'm "Super Asian"...

Go ahead. Say it. I'm a baldy- now. Hahah! "Never mind, dude...it'll grow back!" KingPui trying to comfort himself. It's okay, it's not like I'm out to pick up chicks or anything. But it's only my second time being bald in my lifetime. (Not counting my infant years) Sarah says that i look "super-asian" now! Well, DUH. I have black hair(used to), flat nose, and squinty eyes... What do you think i am. =p That's right, I'm Malaysian.

The Nazirite Vow, Numbers Chapter 6

I presume you are holding your KJV Old Testament Bible right now, with your pages turned to Numbers 6. Cos i am about to tell you why i have this shaved head. Well, now I'm just one more step (and 4 ,452,409 hairs less) towards being a true Jew. Whoa! You don't have to be SO shocked! I was just joking... Hahha. My aim isn't to be a Jew... it's to be a Nazirite Jew. Circumcision, anyone?

Gotcha again, didn't I? (Mi & Di, if you're reading this, don't worry, I'm not in a cult) Well Jason from the BSU was speaking about the Nazirite vow yesterday at The Well. Wow, the book of Numbers, it's almost as mind-numbing as Leviticus. Haha! Not usually a topic any college ministry would choose to talk about. So i was "invited" to be a sermon example. Got my head shaved in front of 60 shock-a-lingam-ed people or so. Background info: In the Old Testament, such a vow would take amazing dedication, passion, and sacrifice. A vow of separation for the Lord. Separation from all things that would defile you. A vow which has no set time limit. All the while you must not let a razor touch your head. Let your hair grow long and all. To finish the vow, it involves stuff like burnt hair, thighs, rams, breasts, oil, bread,wafers and all kinds of funky stuff. I will not get to that. Read it on your own. Jason says: "But the question that comes to mind is this: WHY in the world do it?" In the 21st century, it would be the equivalent of giving up a quarter million dollars, burning up your Dodge truck, your convertible, offering up the deeds to your house, and while you're at it, why don't you give the Lord everything else you have... WHY in the world do it?"

Someone who thinks God is worth it...

A person (in OT days) takes the vow because he/she would do ANYTHING to feel God. To be close to God. To honor Him. Someone who wants God so much, that he's willing to give up everything for Him. In all actuality, the call to sacrifice isn't a new thing at all. Jesus calls us lose ourselves for His sake. Paul calls us to die to self daily. Peter glorified God through his torture and death. Abraham had to sacrifice his only son that he loved for God. Paul is crucified to the world and the world to him. Jesus says, pick up your cross daily and follow him. And a Nazirite would give up all to follow God.

Look at this cool birthday gift i got from Megan. it's hanging in my living room. It says Psalm 119:89-90 in the middle. An original artwork!

"God... is bigger than the air I breathe...the world we'll leave..."

- My Glorious

What can happen in 24 hours? "Time is God's way of making sure everything doesn't happen at once..."- a quote by someone. Sometimes days seem so long. Nights never seem to turn to morn. And yet, at other times I wonder how i ended up in my room at home again. Seems like it was just a minute ago that i was leaving the house. Some people think sleeping is a chore. A pure waste of time. Some would be content lying in bed all year long. Today just zipped by like a bullet train. Usually that means it was an enjoyable and satisfying day. Well-spent. And it was. But why? Why does fun feel so short? And why does pain feel like eternity? i do not know.

On a lighter note, i got my phone today. I didn't even have to pay a deposit. Also reading a John Piper book. Ran through a rain-storm yesterday. And been waking up early for the past few days.

"... hope i can continue to be honest and real with you. sometimes, i feel the temptation to pump up my reputation/ be somebody awesome/ just to make you think of me highly... you know that's so easy to do when you're not seeing someone in the flesh..."

"...but my prayer would be for you & i to learn things which are true about the other, to share struggles (which will definitely happen) and challenge one another to soar to new heights... all glory to God if it happens..."

So i just downloaded Adobe Photoshop tryout. I have 30 days of full fledged digital graphic editing adventure. Well, i doubt i'll be playing with it all month... But it expires in 29 days. Also downloaded Google Earth. i can now spy on you guys.... I know where you sleep at night... Muahah.

But God has been great. Lifegroup is tomorrow. We'll be learning about the Nature of Man. As in both males and females. humankind in general. =) Hahah.

O lifegroup

Lifegroup was a challenge tonight. Definitely. We had newcomers, Nasim and Tristan and Josh. I felt really bad, didn’t think I did a good job of facilitating discussion and building a good foundational relationship-based lifegroup. It turned into an almost pure Q&A session. But Nasim was awesome, he is a true seeker. One who is objective and full of respect of religions and not to mention tactful. But it just wasn’t the right place, time and avenue for various deep theological questions. It is highly impossible to convince and explain away such questions in one hour. In my mind, I faced great conflicts. One side of me wanted to keep a Q&A session going and just skip the week’s agenda: the “Nature of Man” study. Yet, a major part of me wants to keep the group together to achieve a goal; to include everyone fairly in a conversation, and to leave the place knowing that we actually tried to study from the bible, and accomplishing something. I felt sorry for Josh and Tristan who were unable to join in the discussion for the most part. I’m so sorry. I will be much better prepared in the future. Lord, I hope the members of the group will give me grace and understand, I pray also for patience, and for Nasim to continue seeking. I am thankful for Hannah. Thank you for her reminder. I will surely try to keep the love in the group. For when there is love, there will be fruit. I also praise you for the many spiritual issues which I was able to be a part of tonight. Just next time, I pray you will speak thru me, so I won’t be the fool again. Gosh, I hope I wasn’t being a lousy witness for you tonight, Lord. I didn’t know half of what I was talking about.

The Dirt and the Grime

Can we ever truly leave our little bubble of comfort? Ministry cannot be done just by organizing our “Christian” events, putting on our Christian smile, and saying our little “God bless you”s. To truly embody a Great Commission lifestyle, one has to come down from their lofty “I am better than you” attitude… and grovel in the dirt and grime of relationships. Culture has to be infiltrated. Ice has to be broken. Emotions have to be involved. Tears have to fall. Laughs have to be shared. Secrets have to be revealed, and Christians have to be real. And we should open ourselves to be vulnerable. To the possibility of pain. And to rejection. Living a Jesus life isn’t about “I can’t do this & I can’t do that” because of “this and because of that.” So we are salt and light, huh? Salt cannot “saltify” unless it comes in chummy contact with something else. Light cannot illuminate if there’s something solid over the flame. And we cannot be who God calls us to be if we hide behind Religion and “Church.” And I think it is time we admit that we have not arrived. We do not know the “10 sure steps” to having an abundant, prosperous life with a nice little home (with a white picket fence), and a clean, cute Christian dog! We don’t. We are still on the journey. The potter is still repairing. His children are still being perfected.

Them. Us. The cool. The outcasts. The geeks. Them whores. Those murderers. Pity them alcoholics. Us “holy” church-goers. “Those kinds of people”. The unsaved. Believers & Un-believers. Sinners and Christians. See how many of these terms we use everyday? What happened to just “being …human”? It’s unbelievable how I can bring myself to categorize people like that. Ever wondered how God sees them and thinks of them? I think He wants them to live. I think he wants them alive. How do I know this? Because they are here, with us, right now. Breathing. I think He knows them inside and out. I think He knows “them unbelievers” are made in His image. I think He knocks on all their doors. Them “sinners.” I think He … loves “them” enough to die on the cross to bring them back to Him. He loves them. I think he would leave the 99 sheep to bring back the 1 who was lost. Why can’t we? Why can’t I? I am learning to love, Lord. Help me out. Yeah!

“Even though I would prefer to be isolated, I live in a world that won’t allow it. I’ve been pulled out of my prison into relationships with my neighbors and others outside my comfort zone who are altering the way I view people and the world around me.”- John Fischer ‘Confessions of a Caffeinated Christian’

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Gosh, this is fun. Downloaded another fun graphic program. Making animated GIFs now.